This Valentine's Day I'm Loving Myself
By Rock Recovery Intern: Emma Reaney
I remember as a kid, I always looked forward to Valentine's Day because that meant picking out the cutest cards to give to my classmates and hoping that maybe, just maybe, my third grade crush would give me something even more special than just a card (like maybe a teddy bear!)
But that was elementary school. When life was easier and I ate cosmic brownies without worrying about the calorie content. When I didn't attribute my lack of a boyfriend to not having the perfect body. When Valentine's Day didn't serve as a reminder that I was single and couldn't even love myself, much less have a boy love me
Thankfully, I'm going into this Valentine's Day loving myself, my body, and all that it is capable of. But it's not like I got that way overnight.
For the longest time, I hated my body. I hated that I never seemed skinny enough to be like the girls who were getting all of the boys. I hated that no matter how much weight I lost, it was NEVER ENOUGH.
I would think, "Once I get to ____ pounds, then I'll be happy. Then I'll finally be enough for everyone and be fully satisfied! I know I'll love myself then!" But as I'm sure you can guess, I'd get to that weight, and think, "Wait, this isn't enough. I'm still not happy. I can do better. I can lose more."
It was the same cycle over and over again.
Do you want to know why I was never satisfied? Because the number on the scale or the image I see in the mirror wasn't going to fill the emptiness that was in my heart.
I didn't learn to love myself until I came to the realization that I was and still am unconditionally loved by God. Can you imagine how heartbroken God must've been watching me hate on His creation? I am made in His image, and there I was working so hard in an attempt to change it.
What would life be like if we worked out as a celebration of what our body can do and is capable of, rather than a punishment for what we ate? What if we spent our time and energy digging into God's Word, instead of reading about the newest diet craze? What would life be like if you loved yourself?
I'm here to tell you today that life would be SO flipping good!
Now that I'm recovered, I do work out to celebrate what my body is capable of. I do spend my time doing my devotions rather than looking up what diet could help me lose weight. This Valentine's Day, I DO love myself.
And you can too. Take that next step into recovery. You are worth it. You deserve to be able to say "I'm _____ and heck yeah, I love myself!"
Are you ready to stop fighting your body and heal your relationship with your self-image? We want to help! Click here to learn more about our weekly body image therapy group and start your journey to healing today.