How My Daughters Taught Me Body Positivity
Body positivity has not always come naturally to me. Honestly, how could it? We live in a society that focuses so much on appearance, TOO MUCH on appearance. The standards of beauty often seem unattainable and that’s instantly depressing and an uphill battle. My journey of self love had many hurdles, but the biggest was my unhealthy need to constantly compare myself and my body to the bodies of other women. I remember a time where no matter what I had on I didn’t feel good. No matter how small I got someone was always smaller. No matter how beautiful I felt, there was always someone I deemed more beautiful. I can tell you first-hand picking yourself apart is no way to live life. It’s exhausting and it’s not fair. I’m not really sure when the shift happened. Maybe I got tired of always feeling not good enough.
Somehow, I stopped focusing on scale numbers. I stopped focusing on what I thought other people wanted from me. I started honing in on how I wanted to FEEL above over how I wanted to look or how I wanted others to view me. I stumble sometimes. I am a creature of habit and sometimes I find myself picking and prodding in the mirror, but it doesn’t last long and I remind myself that my self worth isn’t defined by my body. I am an entire being. Instead of picking at my love handles and stretch marks, instead of focusing on what ISN’T “right” I have retrained my mind to be more encouraging and to remember that I am an ENTIRE being. I am mind, body and spirit…not just body. The truth is, I find the amount of compassion and empathy I am capable of giving to be my greatest asset and that has NOTHING to do with my body. When I remember that, it does me wonders.
After I had my daughters, loving myself became easier. Self doubt has been a huge theme in my life and I didn’t want to pass that on to them. I didn’t want to model destructive behavior. I wanted them to see me believe in myself, have faith in myself and love myself… and they do. My home is filled with positive affirmations, we have mental health days and conversations about the importance of being our own biggest fan. They have been the best motivators. The biggest takeaway from my journey is that the world and people can be cruel so we need to be kind to ourselves, we MUST be gentle with ourselves. I am not perfect, but my imperfections do not define me. Not one part of me defines me because I am a whole being. I am mind, body and spirit. When I remember that my mind is vibrant, that my body carried two babies and my spirit is good, I see less of my imperfections because I am not focused on them. I am able to just see ME.
About Danni: Danni Starr is an empath, national media personality, mental health advocate, activist, and author. Starr can be seen weekly on the TLC network as host of TLC me Now. She is also the Assistant Program Manager of This is My Brave- a nonprofit mental health organization. In her decade-long professional career, she has amassed an impressive amount of experience and used her media platform to help people and advocate for important causes. Her postpartum advocacy caught the attention of The Office of Women’s Health which named her an ambassador. In 2017 she was recognized as ambassador of the year. She lists her greatest accomplishments as being the best mom possible to her two daughters, surviving postpartum depression, and writing her first book, Empathy and Eyebrows.