Finding Peace in Imperfection

Part of the joy of leading a body image therapy group is knowing that I am leading from a place of imperfection.

I lead body image groups not as someone who has mastered my own body image but as someone who has spent many years wrestling to find peace with my body.

This is an experience that unites all women across cultures, generations, and throughout the world. I’ve never met a female who didn’t go through the struggle of body dissatisfaction, and if you happen to be the one exception reading this, then I’d love to meet you.

We live in a society where health and beauty are sought after like wealth and fame, and in fact, we often spend a large portion of our income on services and products for health and beauty. Groupon did a study published in the New York Post that discovered women ages 18-78 spend about $225,360 on their appearance over a lifetime and men spend about $175,680 (NY Post, 2017). This study also found that the number one concern for both women and men was weight.

We spend so much time and effort chasing satisfaction with our body image, because we believe this will lead to satisfaction with ourselves. We work tirelessly to change our image, believing that it will change how we feel on the inside as well.  

However, self-acceptance and confidence don’t start from the outside and work their way in, but they begin to develop when you do work on the inside and slowly spread to the outermost parts, ending with peace- peace with one’s body and peace with one’s self.

I spent many years dreading summer, because I loved the activities, weather, and vacations but hated the fact that I would have to wear less clothing and somehow brave myself enough to put on a swimsuit. I was hiding. I tell the body image groups that I lead now that for the first time in my life that I was able to put on swimsuit without the deep feeling of dread was the point in my life when I realized that my confidence in a swimsuit had nothing to do with my actual body and everything to do with how I felt about myself as a human being. Confidence does not start with loving your body; this is where society gets it wrong. Confidence begins when you start to love and accept yourself for who you are. And who you are is so much more than an outward appearance.

I lead from imperfection because I cannot claim I am at peace with 100% of my body 100% of the time. However, I am at peace with myself, and this leads me to an overall peace with my body and the way it serves me in my life. My hope is that this message will allow other women to find their peace as well.

Kate Jarvi is a clinical therapist at Rock Recovery who specializes in eating disorder recovery. Kate is trained in providing DBT, CBT, ACT, RODBT, intuitive eating principles, and body acceptance skills which she implements regularly in her practice. She is experienced in building trust and rapport with clients and has a passion for providing faith-based counseling to individuals who desire this element in their healing journeys. Click here to learn more about Rock's body image therapy group and get started on your journey to healing today!