International No Diet Day: Avoiding the Cultural Wellness Trap
Post by Executive Director, Christie Dondero Bettwy
The biggest cultural trap that I see our society falling into on a daily basis is a seemingly harmless one: dieting.
How would I define a diet? An intentional restriction of food groups or types of food in order to change your body size. Yes, this includes countless programs that live under the rouse of a “lifestyle change” when the main goal or desired outcome is still a body change. Dieting is rooted in weight stigma, which is defined as “the social devaluation and denigration of people perceived to carry excess weight, which leads to prejudice, negative stereotyping, and discrimination toward those people” (Tomiyama, 2014). Weight stigma is prevalent in our society and can turn everyday tasks like buying clothing, flying an airplane, or visiting a medical provider into an anxiety-inducing experince for individuals in larger bodies.
I believe our bodies were all beautifully crafted and created, and we are called to steward and care for them. We do not need to become task masters over them and squander away the freedom we have been given. We also don’t need to neglect them and ignore the boundaries put in place to help keep our bodies healthy (such as rest, movement, and nutrition).
I have had countless conversations with people who have been harmed by diet culture.
Diet culture shows up in our world 24/7. In a nutshell, it is the valuing of thinness over health and well-being and the obsession with weight loss as the answer to our problems. For centuries, the elite in society have valued what is scarce over what is common. Hundreds of years ago when food was harder to come by, larger bodies were praised. Now that food is abundant and idolized, thinness is the prize.
Diet culture has allowed a 40 billion dollar empire to form, and it has wasted countless hours of time and energy along the way.
Weight loss will not solve our problems. It will not improve our self image. It will not make us healthier. It will not truly make us happier. It will not be our salvation.
As someone who has recovered from an eating disorder, I know the extreme pleasure one can feel when they see changes in their body. There are so few things in this world where we have control and can witness tangible results. It can be exhilarating to see these changes, especially in times of stress or transition. It gives us an outlet to focus our angst and uncertainties, and to feel like we are getting a productive result.
It can become downright addicting.
Eating disorders are complex illnesses made up of varied genetic and environment factors. One (of many) reasons they can develop is because someone chooses to go on a diet. That’s what happened to me.
I had gained some weight after quitting ballet toward the end of high school, and I felt uncomfortable in my new body. Instead of focusing on caring for myself and making sure I was living a healthy and balanced lifestyle, I panicked, and immediately went to the best gym in town and started working with a personal trainer. This trainer put me on a restrictive “meal plan” (aka a diet) that mirrors many that are encouraged today.
This plan got me incredible and almost immediate results. I started getting compliments and attention because of these changes, which only fueled my obsession and belief that I was living a “better” way now. After all of the “results” I still wasn’t satisfied with my body, or any happier or healthier.
I started thinking about food 24/7, meticulously planned my meals with no flexibility, cancelled plans with friends to fit workouts in. This spiraled for years into a destructive path of disordered eating and exercise that only unraveled well into my 20’s.
My heart breaks when I see another “health” or “lifestyle” plan come through on my newsfeed with the same promises but slightly different approach that it touts makes all of the difference. It breaks because these plans come with stories I know all too well, and the story will most likely unfold in one of two ways.
People will lose the weight. Their bodies will change. They will “feel” better. Then, life will happen. They will get sick. Their spouse will get sick. Their kids will get sick. Work will get busier. They will get pregnant. Life WILL happen. All of these “improvements” they made on this plan will fade away. It will be harder to eat at the “right” times, to prepare and find the “right” meals. The weight will creep back on, and the shame will creep back up, and these people will feel like they failed.
Or alternatively: life will happen, but they refuse to get on board. Their life will get smaller. They resent their family for wanting to get ice cream on a Saturday afternoon, they skip plans with friends because the meal being served doesn’t fit with their plan, or they bring their own food to parties tucked in tupperware or plastic packaging in their purses. Either way, they lose the ability to break bread with those they love. (Because, somehow, gluten isn’t on the “safe” list of foods to eat.)
This refusal to live life as it happens will at best keep them slightly cut off from community, fearful or breaking the rules they have submitted to, or at worst, it will snowball into a cage of disordered eating.
I’d like to offer a third way. Don’t go on the diet. Don’t start the lifestyle challenge. Don’t buy into the belief that your body is flawed, that food is dirty, and that you are better for eating the kale than the cupcake. Save your money, save your time, save your energy. Save yourself the painful cycle.
Instead, learn to care for your body, and give it what it needs. Start to adopt intuitive eating, working with an expert clinician as needed. Give your body a chance to speak, and learn to listen to it. Learn to fuel and move your body in a balanced way to allows for health of your body, mind, spirit and relationships. Your body may change as a result, or it may not. But a smaller body will no longer be the fleeting goal we are striving to obtain, we will be after a more worthy pursuit.
This culture we live in makes our bodies mute and deafens our ears to its cries and cues. We are petrified of being hungry when only the “wrong” food is available. We are petrified of our bodies not burning every ounce of energy or fat or being used at optimum speeds.
We are so much more than the size of our bodies, the reflection in the mirror and the number on the scale. We are children, parents, friends, students, teachers and neighbors. We have to stop diminishing our worth by believing that these things have the power to dictate our value. We must stop directing our valuable gifts, talents and resources to this worthless pursuit of weight loss that will not bring freedom, only captivity.
About the author: Christie Bettwy serves as Rock Recovery’s Executive Director. She came on as Rock’s first staff member in April 2013, after serving as a faithful volunteer for three years. Having gone through recovery herself, Christie understands the depth of support needed to recover and is passionate about spreading the message that complete freedom from an eating disorder is possible, and she loves sharing her journey with the community.